Category Archives: infertility & miscarriage Infertility is a topic very near & dear to my heart. We don’t often talk about it. We think it’s our private battle. We tear up every time we hear the words “I’m pregnant” wondering why we aren’t. Why did it happen so easily for her? What is wrong with me? Why is this happening...  You can gauge the state of my mental health by the amount that I bake. No joke. When I am seeking clarity I reach for flour, butter, sugar & the stand mixer. Baking is a very peaceful thing for me. Cooking is a necessity. Baking is therapeutic. Plus, then I get to make someone smile,...  “shawna” he said, ever so gently, “how far along did you think you were?” & that is when I knew something was wrong. He spent a little more time studying the screen & then turned it around to face me. Everything else is a blur. I could feel my eyes welling with tears as I...  Today, when I needed to smile the most, I got mail. Not just any mail, Studio Mela mail. & it is perfect. Despite having the most emotionally taxing weekend of my life, I smiled. This is not a week that I am ever going to want to remember, but at least I can remember that...  Metadata: f/2.8, 1/320, ISO 500 ••• This project is keeping me sane right now. I have so many emotions running through my head & sharing them in an artistic way is helping me cope. I can’t seem to talk about this stuff…but I can write and use my camera as my voice. As you can...  Aw. She is getting SO BIG! yes. she is. [sad face] It goes too fast. time for another one! right? This is what has convinced me to do this project. Conversations like these. Which I seem to be having every single day. I know they all mean well. Everyone asking for “news.” Asking when caroline...  Stepping away from my computer makes my mind spin. I wind up with so many thoughts of things that might be good topics to share here. I write in my head. Right now, more than anything, mothering is atop my list of thoughts, struggles & challenges. Seems as though I am not alone. Your feedback...  Ever since I can remember, all I ever wanted to be was a mother & a wife. I wanted to be married young (check) and wanted to be a young mom (check). I love babies. Adore them. Not sure how many of them I want, but having one has been the most transformative experience of... 
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