Well look at that. I have time to blog. In the middle of the day even. I think I hit the…jackpot! :)
It’s hard to describe the first day of preschool. Bittersweet seems to be an understatement. I am so excited for her. So excited that she gets to have a life of her own outside of our house. She’ll learn and grow and get many of the things I have not had the energy to give her over the last six months. Every time we’ve gone to her school we’ve been near tears trying to get her to leave. She loves it there. That makes my heart happy.
But I’m sad.
I miss her. I was reminded every single turn I took on the way home of all the ways I miss her. As I sat at my desk while Everett was taking a catnap, the garbage truck drove by…and no one came running to go outside and wave. No one to grab my phone and turn on pandora while we are all playing in the living room like we do most mornings. No one to ask me if put “one pump of vani-ya” in my coffee. It’s the little things. The small ways a child weaves their way into your life that make you miss them when they are gone.
But she had fun. Her sweet teacher told me she was throwing rocks and laughed when she told her to stop. I later found out she was trying to make the grass pretty. Who can argue with that?
I love my girl. & this new schedule we have is going to be great.
Though I am afraid my 6:30 am alarm is going to drastically affect my ability to be a nightowl. Maybe this is the beginning of something wonderful. Maybe watching the sun rise will be a lovely change for us.
Woah, positivity. Where’d you come from??
My hubby & I have been talking a lot about gratitude. Things were grateful for, despite the challenges we’ve found in our lives right now. We’ve been going through the motions. Survival. Passing in the night. But today, I woke up with a fresh perspective. I think it was that 7 HOURS OF SLEEP my little mister gave me last night. Gosh, I love him more when he sleeps. After two weeks of nothing more than 2.5 hrs in a row, my hope has returned–and I feel like a functioning member of society today! But I am sitting here grateful. Grateful that we got to attend my girl’s first day of school as a family of four. Two years ago, I would have thought that was an impossibility. Today, I don’t take it for granted for a second.
Everett and I had some mommy & me time alone today, where he made it up on all fours and smiled and squealed. And the fog lifted. Maybe it’s just for a day, but I’ll take what I can get. I got to stare into his baby blues and felt no guilt that someone else wasn’t getting my attention. I had 45 minutes in silence while he was sleeping to recharge. & it was spectacular.
Preschool is going to be great for all of us.
Today is a beautiful day.