Despite days full of washing diapers & messy fun, Shawna is determined to make mommyhood a stylish adventure. Married to the military & mother to one feisty girl, she is a passionate DIYer & loves sharing how to make the complicated simple.
Leaving the corporate world behind, she became a certified home stager & dove into the world of design...but found an unexpected joy behind the lens. Her love of photography began during her infertility struggle, as the camera gave her a voice when words just wouldn't do.
While still shooting the occasional newborn client, her top priority is being a full time mama. Shawna talks creativity, style, food, decorating, green-chic living & mommyhood here at styleberryBLOG, a daily-ish dose of something fab.
For many people, medicine is a mystery. As I try to explain here & there, exactly the process that we are going through right now, it’s quite clear that unless you have a family member involved in a career in doctoring, most people just don’t understand the path to become one. It’s not a process you hear about every day–and since I have been asked so much I thought maybe I would share here, so you know, in part, why I have been so physically & emotionally unavailable to blog regularly.
First comes medical school, then comes residency. We all know this. Any practicing physician does at least three years of residency–and to get that residency, he/she is required to “match.” This involves interviewing (and funding travel to interviews) and eventually a “rank list.” Programs rank medical students, and medical students rank programs. If they “match,” then everyone is happy. But you can see the obvious issue–and the reason for all the suspense–it is rare to match exactly where a med student wants to, because there are always limited “spots” at any given residency. So some people get at the least, the specialty that they want. Some “scramble” if they don’t match, and find programs who will take them for a year, until they can find a spot the next year if someone drops out or washes out. Not everyone makes it through residency. & some people continue on beyond residency.
So this is where our story continues. My husband is very close to being done with residency. Five years down. One to go. & he has decided to sub-specialize even further. Which requires three more years of even-more-intense training. (omg omg omg, is right.) So here we are again. Another “match” ahead. & there have been ten interview trips, done post call (meaning he skipped a night’s sleep & flew out to spend a night & day with a program, then returned to work.) Which also means, he went ten weeks without a day off. & skipped ten nights of sleep.
Still with me? Yeah. So you can see why I have been just a little busy.
I have recently noticed that many of my friends who have husbands who work with mine have degrees in counseling. Like, psychotherapy counseling. & I totally see why. Add the daily life & death stuff that we deal with as spouses (yes, they bring it all home), with this schedule and yeah. I can certainly see the value in earning that kind of degree. Maybe some day. So anyway…
We’re a couple of weeks away from the big day. The day where we learn how this match settles. It’s a whole lot different from residency–because there are very few programs and most take A fellow. (that’s what you are called after you complete a residency, most of the time.) So ONE. One person, maybe two, get to train at the prestigious programs. On rare occasion there are up to four fellows, but the point is that it is HIGHLY competitive. Only thirty-something people a year are trained for this particular job. & the process is a painstaking one. & the actual work hasn’t even started yet.
So help me, GOD.
So rank lists are in. They become final in a couple days. & then…we wait. TWO WEEKS. We wait. & pray and take comfort in the fact that every step in this journey across this country has put us exactly where we are meant to be during each phase of life. We pray the place he picked first is the one who picked him back. & if not, that we can choose to be happy wherever we end up.
Whew. So that’s where we are. That’s where I am. That is why this little space is so neglected.
But I feel its neglect and it makes me sad. I really miss having the energy to put into styleberry. At the end of the day, when everyone is tucked in & lunches are made & the house is picked up, I just don’t have any energy left to write. Add in those aching muscles from exercising regularly (major sanity saver) and I just need to get every bit of my my six hours of sleep to recover.
I think my balance will begin to start swinging back as summer approaches and our days are a little more relaxed. As soon as we KNOW what’s coming next. We can soon spend less time worrying & preparing for trips and recovering from them & the exhaustion that we feel as a family right now will hopefully be a distant memory.
But this has been really challenging.
So stick with me. Know I miss this place of creativity. Know that if you are like me & finding yourself overwhelmed with life and losing the things you love that this season will soon come to an end & life will shift again. Maybe soon we can find some more time to do the things we love & need to do to fill our souls…with something other than mothering. I love mothering, I really do. But sometimes, I need a break. My break used to be my blog, and right now, it’s lots & lots of yoga. That is ok. I’ll soon have enough energy to do both.
At least that is what I am telling myself. :) The mind is a powerful thing.
I don’ t talk about this part of my life on here very often because I have always felt that it is irrelevant. But–the more time I spend seeking support, the more I realize how little there is for this kind of lifestyle. If you are a residency widow, or have any advice to share, please help me make this a safe place for sharing that support. This lifestyle is lonely and exhausting and you don’t really get it unless you live it. Hang in there. Being married to medicine is a lot less glamorous than most think. We are not alone! :)
Pattyann -My husband is a pgy2 in rad onc and his internal year was in gen. surgery. So I feel your pain. One of my fellow resident wife husband had a military career before med. school. She Says she has lived her life for 15 years in 3-5 year chunks and she says the only thing she regrets is always wishing whatever chunk of time she was in away. Wishing away 2 years at a base she didn’t like, wishing away year long tdys, wishing med school was over, ect. We all have to remember to enjoy the phases of our lives. Don’t wish away a month waiting on the fellowship match to come through. Because that ends up just being a month of your life and your kids’ lives you forgot to stop and enjoy. Best of luck with your match!
Jennifer -What a relief that the interview process is over! I can’t believe you’ll find out where you’ll be going in two weeks! (The Plastics guys have already matched, lucky ducks.) I’m anxious thinking we won’t know where our next PCS will be until maybe 5 months before we have to move, eek! I’m with you — I hate not knowing what’s next! But I’m trying not to worry about it too much right now. Anyway, I’m wishing all the best for you guys and I look forward to hearing the match news!!
Ingrid -I know exactly where you are coming from. I am married to a surgeon, he is now finished, but we have been together since residency and fellowship. Only a spouse married to medicine knows how unglamorous it is. It does get better but it certainly is not perfect. You are giving your husband the best gift by supporting him and taking such good care of your babies. It does get lonely especially when you move far away from family. Stay strong and know we all support you and completely understand the absence. We do miss seeing you and your beautiful babies. Thank you for letting us be a tiny part of your life and all the inspiration you give!
Alisa -My boyfriend is in the same position as your husband also a 4th yr surgery resident. We’ve been in Chicago the last 4 years and are anxiously waiting to find out where his fellowship will be. As a nurse working in the hospital And dating a surgery resident definitely has made realize how much surgeons and their spouses have to sacrifice. Surgeons work way harder and longer hours than any other doctor. Best of luck on your match!
Melissa WIlson-I hear you sister! I’ve been a faithful follower for a couple of years now and I have always wondered how you do it all. I think you do a wonderful job of contributing to your blog when you can. I totally get what it is like to run the family life while my partner does medicine. We’ve been through 2 matches as well. I still remember where I was when my hubby called me with match results each time.
Keep strong. They couldn’t do what they do without us.
Brooke-We’re still out here, Shawna. We understand you’re gone for all the right reasons. And we’re always happy to hear from you when you have the time! Don’t pressure yourself. Knowing that you’re human and that you have to prioritize helps all of us do the same. :) Brooke recently posted..My Whole Heart
Kaley-It is so hard being an almost single parent. I am married to the government, not medicine, but I relate so much to what you are going through. We miss him, and it is so, so hard to do everything on my own. Hang in there, and keep going to yoga! It has saved my life. :)
lindsay-i can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. my husband travels with work and he is gone maybe 1 week out of the month. a new job opportunity might have him gone 3 weeks out of the month and that scares me! BUT it will make him happy considering he is our provider. he deserves to be doing what he loves. being home with two boys under two by myself really freaks me out. thinking i won’t be able to do it, keeping a clean house, taking care of my babies AND taking care of myself! that makes me exhausted typing that! i seriously don’t know how you do it all! although my story is nowhere near the same as yours, i really admire all that you do for your babies, yourself and your home. and now you are working out in the middle of all this chaos???? you are amazing!
i have no advice, but just wanted to say you still inspire me everyday and sometimes when i find myself fed up with doing everything on my own, i sometimes actually think what you would do in this situation {weird, i know}. your blog is one of my favorites and you are truly inspiring to all of us mammas out here in blog land. keep up the amazing work you are doing and praying that your family is placed happily where you are meant to be!
Meredith-I can only begin to imagine what you are going through! My husband isn’t a doctor but he is in the medical field. Praying you are given the match that you want and peace amid the waiting!
alison-So, I probably have a completely different view of this…that of a nurse. One that has worked many 12 hour shifts (I know no where NEAR your hubby’s), dealt with death, illness, tragedy and holidays away from loved ones. It’s so very hard. But the very best part is having an incredible, supportive, loving spouse to come home to. A person, who may not comprehend all that you see and feel as a Dr./nurse, but understands that you are doing something vital to who you are as a person…hard parts and all. Shawna, you are providing such a gift to your family by creating that loving, supportive place for Tommy to land at the end of his very long days. Bless you. I can’t imagine how lonely it must feel at times. You are doing it with a beautiful grace. :) Peace and blessings!
Lulu -As the daughter of an ER Dr, I know how life was in some ways, not as awesome as people would think. He missed A LOT of things while myself & my siblings grew up. Not too long ago, he expressed his regret over “not being there” and “missing out.” But truth is he was there for us in a totally different & awesome way; supporting, encouraging, being a prime role model for us and showing us Anything is possible & it’s never too late. My Dad didn’t start med school until he was married with 2 kids under the age of 3. When he finished med school, Mom went back & became an RN. It was hard on both of them of course! Somehow, they made it work and 42 years later they are more in love than ever and enjoying retirement! They wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t look back with any sadness that he missed so many sports games or school plays, etc. He’s inspired me more than most & while I’m not going to be a medical Dr myself, I am well on my way to becoming a counselor. (Go for it) So, hang in there. Keep breathing & putting one step in front of the other. It’s all going to work out.
Kayla -My husband is not in the field of medicine but he is in the Military field, 12 years now and let’s just say he has been deployed more than actually living with me so I feel the wait, the pressure and anticipation for the next step all while supporting them in their dreams, but taking care of home. We have an 8 year old boy who misses his dad and after 7 years of trying we are finally getting a second child a girl, there just isn’t time and the little time we do have when dad get home its family time. Hang in there as I don’t know personally how residency goes, I know the feeling of not knowing. military life isn’t about free housing and games. Your kids have grown beautifully !!
Georganne -Thanks for sharing! So true that you just don’t get it until you live it. My husband finished his internal medicine residency last year. I thought 3 years were rough…cannot imagine how tough it is for your family. And with kids! We just had our first 5 months ago. I, too, laugh when people make comments about how it must be nice having a dr. for a husband. Yes, residency is over but now student loan bills are due, he still works 12 hour days and is on-call on weekends. Not quite as glamorous as people think. But it is better than residency. ;) Good luck with your match!
Sarahincola -I too am married to a resident. And the unglamorous lifestyle is something that is so hard to explain to people or be able to get them to relate. After an insurance agent told me it must be nice to be married to a doctor and I laughed like a maniac at her, it became all too clear just how little people outside of this path understand the process. We’ve been married 7 years – 4 in medical school and the last 3 in residency. Almost there! And then to pay off those pesky student loans. Best to you and your family as the next step is made clear.
Cheri K. -Thank you for sharing! I miss your blog posts but I completely understand the need to reboot after a long day. Wishing you calmness and rest as you wait for the news. I am looking forward to hearing more.
Robyn -Shawna, while my husbands’ specialty doesn’t seem to be quite as intense as your husbands’ I can so relate to this! Many people don’t understand just how un-glamorous medicine really is! Blessings as you begin the next phase of your family’s journey!
Tap, tap, tap…is anyone still there? I know, I know. I am the non-blogger, blogger. I think I have been turning on my computer about twice a week. Will this life with little people ever be less exhausting? Who knows. But I am doing what I can. They are first. Me second. Then the husband. & everything else is a distant…fourth? I don’t like it, but this is the way life is right now. We are still in survival mode here, with my husband’s work schedule the way it is. But “survival” has been looking better. Why? I started taking care of me. More on that eventually, but that “taking care of me” part means I am going to the gym five-ish days a week. I’m doing lots of yoga. Throwing around weights. Getting stronger, in all ways. But…my daily wardrobe sure looks different! Enter: workout accessories.
Whaaaa?
For real. You can only get so creative with spandex & spandex. Why not wear at least one cute thing while you’re sweating it out!! So I decided to make myself some headbands. I’ve seen several people in my life rave about their headbands. My SIL loves the one she picked up at a race recently. & after looking at how they were made I instantly thought…”hey, I could totally do that.” I mean, spending $20 on a headband is just not something I’d love to do right now. So I hopped to it! & surprise, surprise–they are SO easy. Here’s my latest project:
WHAT YOU NEED
velvet ribbon
ribbon/fabric about the same width as the velvet ribbon
thread in a coordinating color
elastic band (I used 1/4 in, braided in black)
The secret to success here is VELVET RIBBON. It doesn’t budge! I found mine at Hobby Lobby, on sale for $2. You can find it at any fabric store. HL has the most color & width options. I have black, turquoise, pink & hot pink. You want the velvet side DOWN towards the hair. The easiest way to make them is to literally sew two ribbons together. I found a ribbon that is super shimmery & made my first headbands out of that. It hid everything. I am actually wearing it right now! See:
HOW TO MAKE THEM
Choose two ribbons about the same width and sew the ribbons together the long way, leaving the short ends open
Take small piece of braided elastic & stick it in between the two ribbons, then sew one side shut
To get the perfect fit, try the unfinished headband on (it’s easiest if you put in on upside down, elastic at the top of your head, during this step) and play with the tension of the elastic until it feels just right–you do want it tight, as it will stretch out a bit. Then pin it & sew shut.
For synthetics, you can use a lighter to melt the edges of the ribbon on the ends so they are not raw & do not fray. (I am talking about the little short ends here, where the ribbon was cut)
Now if you want to get fancy like the colorful one you see up there, then you need scrap fabric. I folded & ironed a strip of fabric just a little wider than the velvet ribbon & sewed it on. As you can see in the picture, I tucked the short fabric ends under the velvet ribbon where it attaches to the elastic. It was a little trickier, but it is my FAVORITE! I get compliments on it every time I wear it! :) I would not recommend sewing these right sides together, then flipping over & sewing again, as the goal here (at least my goal) is to have the fabric lay as flat as possible on your head.
Super easy. Super fun. & definitely something sassy to add to my five day a week sweatproof wardrobe. :)
Oh–and size guides? Well, the great part is that you can really make the headband perfectly for YOUR head by measuring after you’ve got it mostly complete. But my favorite bands have 15 in of ribbon/fabric and 4.25 in of elastic exposed. But mine actually fit caroline perfectly (she does have a 99%ile noggin) so please know, that my measurements may be a bit small for an adult! 14-15 in of ribbon is a great start though. The elastic is where you’ll really customize. Happy sewing!
Amanda -I look forward to your posts shawna! I am headed to hobby lobby tomorrow to find some velvet ribbon! Thanks for sharing. I miss you on instagram – but I understand ;)
Holy Cow. It’s been a really long time. But with REALLY good reason. I was preparing for a huge local consignment sale and went through every single baby thing in my house and am sitting about 600 items lighter at the moment! YAY for the great big PURGE! Ah, feels so good. I still have a nice collection of things for shop styleberry (still some major designer denim & girl shoes, kelly moore & cake bags, and some bugaboo & newborn prop goodies that need a new home!) so that is definitely on the horizon! But for now, let’s talk cleaning! One of my FAVORITE topics! I was so sick of buying the toxic & expensive bleach wipes at costco that I decided to make some disinfectant surface wipes of my own. To know me is to know how much I LOVE vinegar. So here’s my recipe! Happy Spring Cleaning!
WHAT YOU NEED:
paper towel roll
sharp knife (NOT serrated)
round plastic container with a hole cut in the top
1 cup vinegar + 1 cup water
HOW TO PREPARE YOUR SURFACE WIPES:
Use the sharp knife to cut the paper towel roll in half. If you use a serrated knife (like a bread knife) you will have little bits of paper towel that stick to your wipes and it will drive you nuts! So a nice smooth sharp blade will allow you to cut that roll in half, yielding a half a roll just waiting for your next batch (or for your upstairs container, if you are like me!) Pull the center cardboard tube out of the roll & pop the first towel up to get it ready to soak. You’ll be working from the center of the roll out.
Mix your water & vinegar 1:1 in your chosen container. (I found the perfect container to be the one that you’ll find Oatmeal Cranberry Dunkers in at Trader Joe’s…you’ll hate me for this purchase…so really, any round tupperware about the size of half a roll of paper towel will do)
Put your roll of paper towel in the mixture and let it soak. My roll is always too tall for my container, but once it is saturated, I can squish it down and it fits just fine. Put the top of the container on when they are ready & you’re set to clean!
I use these on everything! Kitchen table. Counters. Toys. Faces. Hands. Bathrooms. They are awesome. I’ve never had them dry up on me–I always use them in plenty of time. & I did try to use the half sheets (you know, those Bounty brand sheets that are really half the size of a normal paper towel) and they were just OK. I like to double mine over & then it is nice & thick and just exactly the size of my hand. I dream of a paperless kitchen, and I am sure that I will have one someday, but now is just not the right time! :)
Time to go shop for some oatmeal cookies, then clean, clean, clean!! You’ll burn off the calories if you clean hard enough! HA! ;)
Sara -So, yes Thank-you for those oatmeal dunkers. I tried to get my husband to take them to work with him, but somehow they’ve ended up in our cookie jar. Otherwise I love the idea and I went ahead and made these with vodka & water and they work wonderfully. I already had a all purpose spray mixed up of vinegar and water, so I thought I’d try something a little different. Thinking they might be even better with a few drops of Tea Tree Oil mixed in…
Emilee-Do you refill the vinegar/water solution with each new paper towel roll? They look pretty wet, do you have to wring them out before you use them?
I just moved across the country and we weren’t allowed to pack any cleaning solutions. With having to buy everything new, I thought this was the perfect time to start making homemade green cleaners. I’m addicted to the convenience of Clorox wipes, so I’ll have to try this.
Stephanie-Ooh, interesting. We use cloth wipes, but it had never occurred to me to make my own kitchen wipes. I’m tempted to use your solution but with cheap dish cloths instead. I’ll let you know how it goes.
JoAnne -Do you use these on your granite counters? I’ve started making my own cleaners (with vinegar!) but I read that vinegar isn’t safe/good for natural stone like granite & marble.
I’ve been using Method Daily Granite cleaner on my counters, but I’d love to be able to make my own! I also purchased some “un-paper towels” from ETSY (I originally bought a set from a daily deal site for CHEAP) and have LOVED using them in place of my paper towels. Plus, they are cute prints so they are pretty to look at in a tidy little stack on my counter. I’m still hunting for the perfect little basket for them. ;-) Between switching to cloth napkins and using mostly the cloth towels in the kitchen (we still use paper towels for some things) I feel a little “greener”!
Jacqueline -Thanks to this post, I just crossed Clorox disinfectant wipes off of my Costco shopping list! I wasn’t thrilled with the smell or the chemicals, but I was reluctant to give them up because of the convenience factor. Problem solved! Thank you.
Jessica-Love it! When we moved, I decided that next time I run out of a cleaning product I’m going to try to made a homemade one instead. I will have to try these :) Jessica recently posted..Neva Lou’s Birthday Weekend
Yummm. We sure do love these. Here’s the one thing you need to know about: Honey. Do your research. Decide when you are comfortable feeding it to your children. It is an absolute no-no before one–and so are nuts, though the latter is now up for debate thanks to some recent news from the Journal of Allergy. But because of the honey and choking hazards, children under one should not eat these. But I am not a doctor or nutritionist or anyone qualified to give advice on these topics, so talk to your doctor about nuts & honey. I’m just here to share how I make our favorite snack!
Now that THAT is out of the way, here’s the basic recipe for our faaaaaaavorite granola bars (& big thanks to my super mama friend, Christine, for sharing it!):
1-2 cup raw shredded coconut or raw sesame seeds (or peanut butter? maybe?)
1 cup wheat germ or almond meal
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup honey
1/3 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
1 tb pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup chopped dried fruit (pitted dates, dried apricots, cherries and/or cranberries)
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line baking dishes with parchment paper. (I use a rimmed baking sheet)
Toss the oats, nuts, wheat germ/almond meal and coconut together on a sheet pan and bake for 10 to 12 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned. (Coconut makes it chewy; for a hard crunchy texture, omit it)
Reduce the oven temperature to 300 degrees F.
Place the butter, honey, brown sugar, vanilla, and salt in a large saucepan and bring to a simmer over low-medium heat. Cook and stir for a minute, then pour in the toasted oatmeal mixture. Add the dried fruit and stir well.
Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dishes. Wet your fingers and lightly press the mixture evenly into the pan, or use more parchment paper to press it down.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until light golden brown. (If it’s not cooked enough, they will crumble and break).
Cool for at least 2 to 3 hours before cutting into squares. Enjoy!
Now, you can add whatever you want to suit your taste. Our favorite concoction so far is a mix of everything above, but specifically choosing: organic oats, sliced almonds, chopped walnuts, pistachio meat, almond meal (not wheat germ), sweetened coconut, dark brown sugar, organic dried cherries & cranberries. Oh, and I added a bunch of Chia seeds, because they are so good for you. I got all my ingredients at Trader Joe’s. My kids cannot get enough of these! I make them in a giant wok on the stove because I make big batches–double the above! They stay fresh for quite a while!
Soooo good. Now I need some new ideas–what do you add to your granola? Please share!
Sara -Enjoying these! I normally do something very similar, but my ‘wet’ ingredients was a can or two of evaporated milk and I never tried toasting the oats and nuts before hand. I think I would like to add a bit more fruit to the mix, but otherwise I loved them.
Jenn-I will definitely be making these this week- YUM. I’m curious if you’ve noticed a big uptake in your grocery budget since adding a little boy to the mix? I have a 4yo girl and 18 mo boy and literally can’t keep enough food in the house for him! He eats so much more than our girl did, so we’re trying to adjust financially to find a good balance while still eating mostly organic.
Amy -Shawna what would you suggest as a replacement for wheat germ and almond meal? My son can’t have either but I think I can find ways to replace the other stuff! Thanks for the recipe!
alison-These remind me a little of KIND bars with all the great nuts in them. Granola bars are a staple at our house too. Can’t wait to try these. One of our favorite add ins is mini choc chips. No, not too healthy, but they add a little sweetness and mix things up a bit.
yes–totally like kind bars–but WAY cheaper! We can’t do much chocolate for on the go down here because it melts so fast in the darn heat. Already 90 down here. :/
Becky -I like to add flaxseed meal and brewers yeast to our granola mix. Mostly because I’m nursing and those two ingredients (along with oats) are great for lactation.
Brianna -Sounds yummy! Have you tried PB2? I bought some but have yet to use it. I’m wondering if it would be a good fit with this recipe… I’m thinking so… :) Thanks for the recipe!
This may not sound like a big deal. But it’s a big deal to me.
I first wrote about my faith back when I shared the news about Everett. He is my moment. He is my sign. He is my blessing. Everything about him has brought me to where I am on this journey right now. I am not sure where I would be if it was not for him. The clarity and desire and open-mindedness is a direct result of his existence. I have no doubt.
During my infertility struggles, I prayed for the first time. Like, really meant it when I prayed. I challenged “God.” I wasn’t exactly a believer, but I had no other hope. Show me I have a reason to believe you exist. I struggle. I have always struggled. Show me I can’t help but believe.
& He gave me a baby.
I prayed while I was pregnant. PRAYED. Give me the gift of this beautiful child and I will give back anything you want to this world. I will do the work you see fit for me. I am not ungrateful.
& He gave me Everett.
And then I didn’t sleep for nine months. & I had no help. & no patience. & no idea how I was going to survive. I had no time for me. No time to do anything but sleep and nurse and cook and clean and care for my babies. And I felt like a total failure.
& yet, somehow, my blog reached record readership.
All while I had tears welling up in my sandpaper eyes hourly and the darkest under eye circles you could imagine.
But this is no coincidence. There is no doubt in my mind. Not for a second, that this is all an orchestration beyond my control. All that time I spent wondering why this blog existed and why I am doing this and what on Earth this was all for is crystal clear. This blog is not about money. This blog is not about photography. Not about my kids. Not about anything I can show you.
This blog is my mission.
My struggles seem to resonate with some of you. Remind you that you are not alone. & hopefully help you find better ways to do things or cope with things in your home. Maybe some of you just pop over to learn how to make a better hard boiled egg, but some of you are struggling, just like me.
This mom job is hard. & this blog is a joy. It felt like less than that for a while, but things are coming full circle.
You see, I was so exhausted that I decided (don’t judge) that an hour of church without a needy baby in my arms seemed like a really good way to spend yet another day without a husband around. So I dropped my kids off with the sweet childcare workers at church & headed in. But what happened was life changing.
“Align your life with the will of the Father, and the power of the Holy Spirit will carry you through” he said, and it all made sense.
Listen. Learn. Go. Do.
I am on a very personal path. I love the church I go to. LOVE. I love going alone. I love seeing my friends there, who have all played a part in this journey. This is MY time to sort out MY feelings and questions in the warmest church environment that I’ve ever experienced. I am moved beyond anything I’ve felt before. The sermons are relevant and poignant and inspiring. I’ve needed this in my life. Big time. This is a season when a lot seems really hard. But each time I go to church, I feel like I can make it through the week again. & I am inspired.
& blessed. So blessed. These two little miracles have shaped me into exactly the person I am meant to be. & this image is the first in some changes around here. styleberry as you know it is getting a makeover. A simplification. A lighter, brighter feel. Right now it’s in my head, but it will make its way out soon. xoxo.
Tori -Love it. I love hearing stories of faith, and how (especially mama’s) come to depend on and lean into Christ for help in this day-to-day life we live with our littles. Praying you continue to learn much and walk closer with God, and that it makes this season of your life even sweeter!
Alicia K -I just want you to know that I’m so happy our paths have crossed down here. You are a joy to have in my life. A daily inspiration and a positive influence. Love you xoxo
Christie -You have such a strong influence among moms all over the country. I have given your blog to more people than I can count. Can’t wait to see how Jesus is going to use with your life and how it will reach others!
Carleigh -What a wonderful and beautiful post. I have been reading your blog for a while and am so happy you have found a wonderful church community like Oak Hills. I go there as well, (my husband Stephen is actually on staff and leads worship!), so I know first hand what an awesome church it is. You have so many talents and gifts, and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing some of your struggles as well. God bless :)
Shawna, you’re amazing and lucky to recognize you blessings from Heavenly Father! I don’t know what I would do with out the Savior in my life He is my rock and my salvation. I couldn’t get through a day without knowing I’m a Daughter of Heavenly Father. He keeps me going and gives my life a purpose and meaning.
Kate B -I cannot explain how this post reflects my own thoughts on my own journey with God. I have been going every weekend as well and have met some really amazing friends. I don’t mind sitting by myself and look forward to the positive inspiration that starts each week. Thank you for sharing. You continue to be an inspiration to so many women and mamas. I miss your beautiful photos on IG as well. Wish you the best. Xo
Jenny Lynn-Shawna! I am SO excited. I have wanted you to know Jesus SO SO badly! I wasn’t sure if you were a believer since you hadn’t mentioned much about it before – but I am so thrilled for you! I canNOT wait for the blog change and hopefully to see you around a little more often! I have missed reading :) Happy Tuesday, Friend!
Brenda -Praise the Lord! I have prayed for you and your salvation. I am so excited to the Lord’s pulling of you towards Himself. You are an amazing woman, God has some amazing things in your future. Keep focused on Him!
Kathleen-Thank you Jesus. How he is using YOU! You have such a voice in this beautiful blog that I enjoy reading so much and it is so cool that so many readers will read about the truth you have discovered! So joyful to read this!
Hanni-Shawna I am so excited to hear how God is working in your life. He is so good and so faithful! I have actually felt led to pray for you at times in the past year as you shared struggles, frustrations etc. I have a son just a few months younger than yours and a daughter who is 2.5 so I have definitely related to you over the last year. Life with Jesus doesn’t make every problem or hard season go away, but it does often bring purpose and meaning and you will find yourself falling more in love with Him as he reveals his deep love for you and his consistant, never changing character. Looking forward to hearing more of your journey!
aubrey -You are loving this and will continue too. In the hard times, Jesus is the Rock. It’s quite amazing. I don’t know how we mother without His grace! Congrats!
Julie -Thanks for sharing! As a fellow believer and a follower of your blog, this is so encouraging to see. God is so good.
I’m a pregnant working mom of a girl toddler, a few months away from the arrival of our son. :)
April -SO happy for you! I am going to go out on a limb here…I’ve never done this before…(but I’ve been following for a long time now and feel like I can (ha!)… I really think you should go on an ACTS Retreat in Blanco (just north of Bulverde). I know…I know…but hear me out…this is not from me, I don’t live in Blanco and don’t go to the church there, I have no reason of my own to tell you…BUT when you wrote about how your hubby had found his calling and that meant you would be staying in (not-so-fond-of SA) for a much longer time, I knew God had something in store for you too…just couldn’t wait to find out what it is. I think this is just the beginning :) I know ACTS would mean leaving for 2 1/2 days..3 nights but I truly don’t think you would regret it. You don’t have to be Catholic…I know what you’re thinking. Lots of women of all faiths go. I know I sound crazy, but I’m not. Just passing this along from somewhere in my heart (and you know where Christ lives). It might not be next year or the year after that…but I ask you to stay open to it. You don’t have to know anyone (I didn’t)…this one is just for YOU and your relationship with Christ. (one more thing–the one in Blanco is different than the others in SA–just sayin’)
Erin-Shortly after I had my son 14 months ago (from today actually), I found you on Instagram and immediately connected to the pictures you posted of your brand new baby boy. I read of your struggles of not sleeping, while I was… NOT sleeping. It was so important to me to check in with you and see how you were doing things, as you had two little ones to care for and this was my only. You truly inspired me and I’m so grateful for what you shared. I have missed you (may sound weird from a total stranger, I understand), and I’m excited for the changes you are going to be journeying (is that a word?) through. I’m excited for your continued journey with the Lord. I have stepped back from my journey with him a bit, but I’m working to make things better. Erin recently posted..Happy Easter!!
stacey-this post makes me SO. HAPPY. when anyone finds God, accepts Jesus, my heart sings for them! and in turn, it sings for you {la,la, la!} :) continue to learn and to grow, He loves you so very much! “for i know the plans i have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (jeremiah 29:11) looking forward to seeing His and your plans for styleberry, i’m certain it will be wonderful. much love xox stacey recently posted..directionless & hashtagging #somebodystopme
Aja -This post makes me so happy. What an awesome testimony you have. I am so thrilled for you and your family and what God is doing in your life. Your blog has always been an inspiration to me as a mama and I can’t wait to read and see what changes He has in store!
Audra -I made a comment on Instagram a couple of months ago and am sorry in hindsight for the attitude and bitterness I conveyed. I misjudged you and you should know that. I had no idea the struggles that you have faced. You have a phenomenal testimony about how God has proven himself faithful to you.
Julie Meier-This brought tears to my eyes! You are a HUGE inspiration – the cloth diapers in my house for my new baby girl, even though I have a 5 & 3 year old are proof! I have been following you since shortly before you announced your pregnancy with Everett. I am happy to see that you are finding purpose, hope and clarity. I have hope, and I since the clarity and purpose around the corner. I think a good church is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another. I am so glad you have one! I have gone to ours with the same need – childcare, (and coffee) and what I get is so much more than that. Thank you so much for your honesty, and for keeping it real. I look forward to see what StyleBerry’s future holds. Much love!
Janna -I cried reading this post, it makes my heart so happy to hear about your faith journey! You are a incredible source of inspiration to me- from chocolate chip cookies and hard-boiled eggs to cloth diapers, baby food and exhaustion survival tips; I am so thankful for you and your blog. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, what a blessing you are to fellow mamas! God is using you in wonderful, powerful ways to touch many lives and I pray that your life is enriched through this as well. I look forward to the Styleberry journey ahead :)
Amanda -Shawna, I am so excited to hear this! It’s so weird to read someone’s blog and to not really know them, but I have always felt that God could use you in powerful ways. I love your quote about aligning with the will of the Father and the Holy Spirit will help you. I’m looking forward to seeing the new Styleberry blog and the places that He brings you.
amanda
Janna -I cried as I read this, it makes my heart so happy to read about your faith! You are an incredible source of inspiration to me, and I’m so thankful for you and your blog. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us, what a gift you are to fellow mamas! God is using you in powerful, wonderful ways. I look forward the Styleberry journey ahead!
Moriah-Wow, I am so blessed to read this. I have been following your blog, and was following you on IG, and I always have felt so encouraged by you! I am a wife to a general surgeon resident {starting this June} and we have 2 little boys. We are also believers and have grown up in the church. I never knew where you stood in your faith, and can I just say, I teared up reading this post. I can’t believe how much the Lord is working in your life, and in the life of your family. Seeing all of your answered prayers is so encouraging, I never get tired of seeing the Lord’s hand working in someone’s life. The fact that you live near to Max Lucado’s church is also incredible. Even if you are just attending to get a break, it is amazing. God calls people to Him in incredible ways, and if you are seeking truth, you will find it. So happy to read this!! I wonder if your church has a MOPS {Mothers of Preschoolers} group? If so, check it out, it is amazing to connect with other Mom’s in the church. Thanks again for this post and for being so transparent. I will pray the Lord blesses you and does a work in you as you strive to seek Him and honor Him in your life. Can’t wait to hear more!!
Loretta-Shawna I go to oak hills too! It’s great! I now have two kids: one 2 years old and one 6 days old. Thank you for always sharing and all the information! I’ve met you years ago from Erinn Merritt with triplets:-) again thanks!!!
Loretta
Kristin S -God is SO good. I found your blog a few years back and we have connected via email a few times. Your story, your life, your family, is all SO similar to mine. I always wondered where you were in your faith walk. I have actually prayed for you a few times when I was following you on IG. If you can, keep me in your prayers too. I struggle with doubt and letting go of control. What I wouldn’t give to be able to worship at an Oak Hills Church. Blessings! xx
Brianna Krute -I love this because although our stories don’t mirror each other exactly, I can relate. In order for me to stay home with my two boys (2&4), I have to run a small daycare from my house. My husband is home in the evenings and is such a big help, but day to day can still become overwelming at times. I, too, started going back to church regularly last October and it has been so important to me. It’s adult time, reflection time, spirtual time. I don’t have to worry about my kids because I know they’re in good hands. It’s my outlet. So… this is my long way saying that I really enjoyed this post ;)
Sara-Thank you Shawna. Thank you from a complete stranger. Thank you for inspiring us all. To know that we are enough. As mothers. Or whatever journey we may be on. Continue to be real. It means more than you know:) Sara recently posted..Little Secret
Anya -While I am not a church-goer (and will likely never be), I am a firm believer in doing whatever makes us feel stronger and happier and healthier. It sounds like you’ve found yet another way to make your life the best it can possibly be. The struggles you have experienced resonate with all moms as I’m sure you know. And as a working mom that has to work more-than-full-time and travel to Asia, your blog has helped me immeasurably with little (and big) ideas, inspiration to take more and better photos of my girl, and above all to try and pause and appreciate this marvelous little person in my life whenever possible. I found you through cloth diapering, and I’ve stayed, lurking, amongst your readers. I look forward to riding along with you on your journey!
Carrie -LOVE it! Love everything about this post! So happy to hear where you are in life right now and always happy to see some new pictures. They’re so big! Can’t wait to see what’s next for this blog of yours :)
Kristin -No judging here! Our church has service, and they encourage you to stay for a bible study-esque thing after. I ALWAYS go to both when the hubs is out of town for the week, or weekend, so I can recharge. It is almost more special for me to be able to singularly focus on something.
Max lucado? Niiiiiiiiice.
Kathryn V-you’re noomie doodle is spot on. you inspire. thank you for being so candid and open. us moms are all in this together, and thank you for inspiring us to find that middle ground in the hub-bub of everyday life to breathe and know that we are enough. Kathryn V recently posted..great before. great after.
Tara-So happy for you! I will say, when I start my day praying for strength and praying that Heavenly Father will work through me, I am amazed by the strength I get. Hugs Shawna, you are doing a great job. And I am so excited to see the blog makeover! Tara recently posted..How Checking Email Once a Day Can Increase Productivity
Jessica -Gosh – (wipes away tears..) You never cease to amaze me. As a working Mom (a Division 1 college coach at Michigan State University), I am constantly struggling with such a strong interpersonal battle over whether my TIME CONSUMING career is worth the time I lose with my 21 month old… I wonder if I will ever have enough time to be the best wife, mother, ME that I can be. You and your posts and words always remind me that I am ENOUGH. Between my players, my husband, my son, my family, MY health… rushing everywhere, trying so hard, keeping up around the house, spending time with my husband, cherishing the two hours a day I get to spend with Tyler, finding time to nourish my own health, traveling everywhere in the country for the sport I love… Ugh! But when I come to your website, I feel inspired. I feel like I can do it, and when I need a break, I’m allowed to take it. Thank you for all that you offer to us Mom’s out here… You are right, your mission is to reach those of us who struggle with the same issues you do. THANK YOU!
alison-I’m always in awe of the way our hearts and lives can be moved. Beautiful post. You are such a strong mama, so glad you’ve found a place to refuel your soul.
Tara S. -Shawna – I’m so happy to hear that you are finding clarity and inspiration all while taking time to be good to yourself. I’m a mom of two (6 yr. old girl and 4 yr. old boy), and I know how draining yet fulfilling motherhood can be. It’s the constant yin and yang of raising children. And you are basically doing it ALONE. We just did our 3rd move in 4 years, and I know what it’s like to be separated from my husband (only for a period of time) and separated from family. I know how much harder that makes everything. So I have all the respect in the world for your struggle, but most importantly for your TRIUMPH. I have been following your blog for years because I relate to you. I relate to your strength, and I am inspired by the way you approach your life and the creativity you bring to your household. Without even knowing you personally, I know if all comes from the most genuine, real place. You are honest and people know it. So… thank you. I’m so excited to see what comes next on this blog! All the best to you!
Joy @ Caspara -This is a great post!! God is so good and faithful! And yes, your blog does resonate with so many! I’m so glad that you are still doing it! Joy @ Caspara recently posted..Because April Fool’s is for Real, Big Announcements
Megan Gibb -We miss OHC so much ever since we left Texas. This post was so encouraging & I’m thrilled that you’ve found such comfort, encouragement, & inspiration from the Lord’s teaching & friends at OHC. Excited to see what Styleberry has to bring! :)
Kirsten -Shawna I am so happy for you! You are completely glowing in the picture with your two beautiful kiddos. I know we have never met but your blog has definitely been a ministry to me. It has helped me so much and I will be praying for you and your walk with the Lord.
Kelley T-I know you don’t know me, but I am one of Erinn M’s friends from WI. She introduced me to your blog back when I was thinking of making my own baby food for my son (who is about the age of your daughter). I am so so grateful for your honesty here. You have been a source of comfort for me when I have been exhausted. I’m so glad you have found a church you love. It really makes all the difference to find people who can see you as you are and love you through it. Thank you also for sharing your faith here. There is a delicate balance nowadays and I admire your courage. We currently work for a Christian camp in CO and I hope that God will use my little bloggity blog to inspire people as you have inspired me. Take care and God bless! Kelley T recently posted..Story time…
ellen -just what i needed today. thank you for sharing this shawna. i have been a reader for almost 2 years, don’t know if i’ve ever commented. this post is just so beautiful. i am so happy for you. while i have been uplifted by so many of your words, this was just so perfect for today. thank you and i hope the best for you on this wonderful journey. there are a lot of us right there with you!
Marianne -Church is my breath of fresh air. Whenever we have moved to a new place, a good church family is what has always made us feel at home. Being apart of a community of believers gathering together, being the hands and feet of God is something I pray everyone can experience. So happy to hear you have found a place to call “home,” and a place to feed your soul.
Emily-One of the things we miss most about Texas is Max. He and the Oak Hills family of churches are amazing. So happy to know you are experiencing God in a real, life-changing way!
Jenn-Shawna- I think I speak for many of your readers when I say that you have been an enormous blessing to us moms- the tired, the stressed, the determined-to-simplify-and-add-joy at all costs moms. Something about your honesty and your creativity resonated with me as I transitioned into becoming a mom of two and I refer back to your site weekly for inspiration. Thank you for continuing to share your life with us, even with what little free time you have, and know that it is not taken for granted :)
Today I am over on The Creative Mama talking about how I manage my holidays alone & try to stay excited about them. (& resist the urge to get overwhelmed!) Come on over & join me!
Angie-Oh how I LOVE this post!! I strive to make the holidays feel special for my family but easily get overwhelmed.. and Pinterest doesn’t help!! LOL :) I have a fun Easter craft on my blog that you might love to do with your kids.. Footprint Easter Bunnies!! Easy, fun and quick!!
I don’t know about you, but it seems like ’tis the season for hard boiled eggs. It took me YEARS to find the perfect recipe that yielded beautiful butter yellow yolks. It’s so incredibly easy. You can do this with any amount of eggs, just don’t mess with it. They are perfect every time! Here’s how:
Put eggs in a saucepan of cold water & just barely cover them with water. Don’t add anything to the water.
Place over high heat & bring the water to a boil.
Set a timer: boil for THREE minutes. No more. No less. (This is the hardest part because you have to pay attention to when the water begins to boil)
When the timer goes off, remove from the heat and cover immediately. Set the timer for EIGHT minutes.
When those eight minutes are up, head to the sink and drain the hot water, & rinse them with cold water for a minute or so.
Peel OR refrigerate with the shells on–whichever is your preference!
ENJOY!
& we love farm fresh eggs, but they aren’t always readily available here. I usually buy them six dozen at a time (we LOVE our eggs around here), organic at Costco.
Kimber C.-I really do love this FAB 50 series you’re doing, it’s SO fun for me to learn some of the awesome things you’ve learned to do! Thanks a ton or sharing!
And side note: I started cloth diapering because of you! My 4 month old has proudly been sporting those Charlie Banana’s for 3 months now and we love it! Sometimes we get leaks though in the mornings, do you ever deal with that?
As You Stitch Baby Wipes: these are single ply serged flannel. I prefer single ply flannel for wiping, found double to be too thick. I think I have ten dozen? Could totally get by with six dozen or so. And…AND…Alison is generously giving my readers an extra 10% discount on the current (sale!) price through the weekend, ending 3/24. Coupon code: STYLEBERRY. Yay! Stock up!!
FITori on Cloth Wipes: detailed description on the HOWs & WHYs (she’s the reason I am even doing this at all!)
A couple of notes:
I did not do this with caroline. I started with a giant nudge & these as a gift from Tori (see link above!). I do not know why I didn’t use them sooner!
I do not use them for most #2 diapers. Breastmilk poop–no prob. Used them 100% of the time for six months. Toddler poop is a different story to me. I use disposable for that. Once or twice a day.
I do not use them on the-go. I use disposable wipes for that. (I don’t have my shit quite that together. Ha!)
I use the itty-bitty-est amount of the baby bum drops. Literally, maybe a quarter of a cube for that big bottle of premixed solution. It lasts FOREVER. I’ll never use it all! It dissolves best in hot water. & I don’t use vinegar like Tori. I haven’t needed it.
I keep the bottle in E’s nursery to pre-moisten his wipes in a wipe warmer. I thought I would be a sprayer, but I am not. I like my wipes soaked. Nice & wet. I found they were a bit scratchy & not very efficient otherwise. The bottle holds about five “changes” of wipe solution. I make it about once a month.
I keep the wipes in the warmer pre-folded just like disposable wipes to make it really easy to grab them & use. I fold a stack after each load of wash & keep them in stacks in his drawer. This way I can reload the warmer in a jiffy & dump some solution right on them, without having to do any work the minute they run out.
Here’s how I fold them. I would have loved to have done a video but…yeah. I am sure there’s one on YouTube!
What else can I tell you…
This is not a long & involved post because this is not a long & involved process. I made it out to be so much more than it was in my head. It’s simple. It’s easy. & after you do it a week…it’s normal.
Any questions?? Anything you want to add? Let’s share!
Angelina -This is such a great tip! Just ordered some wipes. Thank you so much. I know it’s hard to keep up with the website, but I really enjoy the fab 50. Thank you for making the effort :)
Bets -I LOVE cloth wipes and the Baby Bum Drops! It took me a while to figure out how to use them– I actually drop one in almost boiling water or it doesn’t melt very easily at all. I use an old spray bottle from my preious (much more expensive) diaper area spray and spray my cloths as I use them. I keep the cloths in a warmer, just wet with water, until I spray them for use. Seems to work. As for the commenter with mildew smell issues, I try to hold out changing the pad in the bottom of the warmer as long as I can, but I find when the mildew smell starts, it’s time for a fresh pad! I DO use cloth wipes on the go– I just moisten them with my spray and throw them in my wet bag with the soiled diapers. Also use them with #2. I have a variety of textures of cloth and just kind of choose what I need at the moment.
Colleen -Love this idea! But I have the same question, what do you do with dirty wipes? Where do you place them during changing and where are they stored before you run a load of laundry?
Jayme @ Keeping Up With Myself-I’ve been using a few drops of Dr Bronners with my wipes. But now I want to try the drops! And it never occurred to me to keep a jug of solution in the nursery, you’re so smart. For months I’ve been yelling for my hubs to refill a glass of water when I inevitably ran out mid-diaper change! Now I feel silly. Thanks for this! Jayme @ Keeping Up With Myself recently posted..Surviving Your Baby’s Colic (Without Losing Your Mind)
Jessica-Honestly, I had NO idea that cloth wipes even existed! :) Interesting stuff…and maybe something for me to explore (although I’m hoping Neva just potty trains early and we can move on from this whole diaper/wipe thing). My MIL has offered to try to potty train her on our vacation to FL this week and I might take her up on it. (Now, if I could get G not to wet her diapers at night…we’d move on from that too!). Jessica recently posted..A bit of happiness for your weekend.
Marci -has anyone else not had issues with getting a mildewy smell on the wipes from keeping them in the wipes warmer? We had this problem twice and I tried everything to get that smell out of them. Nothing worked.
Ali HuYoung-Hi! I’m the owner of As You Stitch Baby and just wanted to say thanks for the love today :) I’d love to offer StyleBerry readers a discount on our wipes this weekend. Just use the coupon code STYLEBERRY for an extra 10% off the current (sale) price! Thanks again for sharing our little shop with your readers!
Lisa -Love this! I use Washy Wafers from Go Baby, Go! and love the Apple Blossom scent. It’s so much easier than I though it would be. We don’t use them for #2s or on the go either. Great idea about making a larger batch to keep on hand throughout the month – that would further simplify the process!!
Jenny Lynn-I love using reusable wipes too! I made the plunge after I kept separating the diapers from the wipes and having to go two different places (trash and wet bag). I just made my own – from some flannel that I doubled up and zig-zagged around the edges. They actually don’t get folded. They are the length and width of the folded wipe so they fit down in a refillable (disposable) wipes container. Easy Peasy. I just stack them when they come out of the dryer and throw them in the wipes container. And actually, I just use water…. I thought this was kinda strange but when my twins were in the NICU that’s all they used for wiping them and it worked great! But, I’m totally with you on the solid poop…I use disposable wipes for that :) Jenny Lynn recently posted..mth 2013.
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